By Ian Kerner
Come on. Admit it. He is probably not that into you, yet have been you ever fairly that into him? He used to be by no means "the one", yet you decreased your criteria and dated him meanwhile. Why? For any variety of purposes: you have been lonely, you have been attractive, you idea relationship him was once higher than being on my own, your whole neighbors have become married - you identify it. And sooner than you knew it, you were given hung up at the jerk. move determine. the realm is stuffed with sensational girls, yet in trendy industry there are too few solid males to move round (or so it appears). Now Dr. Ian Kerner, medical sexologist and writer of the damage hit She Comes First, explores the battlefield of intercourse, hook ups, go-nowhere relationships, and the dismal courting treadmill, at the same time arming girls with a sharper set of insights and the instruments for switch.
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Additional resources for Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either: Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve
But whether it’s a result of cultural or emotional factors, or simply the symbolic procreative 24 | You’ re Not T hat Int o Him Either, B u t . . possibilities that are attendant to the act, intercourse seems to carry emotional pleasures for women that outweigh the physiological component of sexual response. This is not true of men. Rare is the man who can enjoy sex without orgasm or even separate the two (unless he’s one of these Tantric types, and then you’ll have to deal with his penchant for sarongs and chanting).
Michelle, 28, public relations executive, New York Michelle’s situation raises a point that we’ll cover in greater detail in the next chapter—that men and women have sex in very different ways. In many cases, even when a women is intellectually aware that she is not into the guy, somehow an emotional bond is formed. Some of this is due to the double standard that turns into remorse for “putting out” with a false belief that there was actually something more going on. Sometimes, the “liking him” feeling is really just an emotional justiﬁcation for not liking him at all but still sleeping with him.
Of Rats and Men “Of course the idea of love and happiness and all that stuff is appealing. ” —Steven, 33, real estate broker, Atlanta To be honest, the guy you slept with (yes, that one, with the heavy Drakar Noir habit) didn’t just have sex like a man, he had sex like a rat. What do I mean by this? Well, like most mammals, rats are not monogamous. Their main concern is the act of sex, not the partner they are having sex with. Sounds familiar, I’m sure. In this analogy, rats stand in contrast to the prairie vole, a cute little critter that has the notable distinction of being among the 3 percent of all mammals that mate for life.
Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either: Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve by Ian Kerner